Friday, August 24, 2007

Nether Tasering

Sorry, busy as crap with the Sample Sale; this has been sitting in my drafts folder for a few...

So today, I had my second laser hair removal treatment. Or, as I like to call it, having my nethers tasered.

I "won" a spa silent auction package whilst a wee bit buzzed at an event (does every one of my posts involve drinking?*).

Anyhoo, turns out the package was a bit (a lot) of a bait and switch--it was for 2 of 5 necessary treatments (which they didn't inform me of until heading into appointment #2), combined with some random services that I didn't really need (and definitely don't need to drive a damn hour for). So to get optimal tasering results, I would have to buy a package of 5, which they offer at a volume discount, or the remaining 3 at regular price.

So the math: I spent $700 at the auction for something that was listed at a value of $1,400. But would have to spend another $900 to buy the remaining 3 treatments, or get a package of 5 for $675--so a minimum spend of $1,375 for something that they are currently selling for $675. Niiiiice.

So. Back to the tasering. In my two appointments, the first was using the standard laser, the second one was an upgrade using IPL.

First time out: took a lot of time, as you have to numb the whole area for about an hour, and then it still hurts somewhat. But after one treatment it was about 30% gone.

This time: no numbing, it took 15 minutes total (something about the IPL hitting far more follicles than with a normal laser), and same amount of pain (which isn't bad at all). As for results, we'll see what comes back.

As for the pain, it kind of feels like I went to Great Southern and asked for a tattoo that looks like chicken pox. But with about 40% less pain. It's just a quick sharp stinging, that really isn't that bad in most parts. You get used to it after the first few rounds.

If you're thinking about doing it, now is the time--tasered nethers cannot see the light of day at all, so I was the freak in the shorts at my pool all summer (with the farmer's tan to prove it).

And now that I've completely scarred you with way TMI (and you haven't read the postscript yet), I'm off to more DSS. Have a great weekend!

*Don't answer that. Though I JUST found out that I'm not preggers. But to backtrack, the initial thought (that I might be) occured around 10:00 this a.m. By 11:00 I was picking out guest room decor to convert it into a nursery, by 11:30 I was figuring out how to wittily tell my husband, by 2:00 I was buying a test, by 3:00..oh wait. Never mind. Not pregnant. Point is, tonight's post, if not about drinking, will defintely be sponsored by the concept. So back off.


fashiongirl said...

OMG. I can't even do a Brazilian. Had one years back and am still carrying the mental scars. Those waxing ladies are HARSH! I can't believe you actually did this. Hope the results are fab!

b2 said...

Don't ever get a Brazilian in DC. I've gotten two very amateurish ones (without paying amateur prices) that were so painful, I nearly wept (and I've borne two children, for pete's sake!)

I might be a bit spoiled though... my first Brazilian was by the J Sisters in NY (10 years ago, when I actually cared about my nethers) and it was FAB. I guess if they're good enough for Gwyneth's cooch, they can do mine. It stung, but was super fast and afterwards didn't hurt (honest), so I've been going through life thinking that a bikini wax wasn't all that painful! HA! said...

Hilarious about the preg scare. Every time I get far enought to buy the test, everything gets moving and before the test is done - I know I'm not.

So annoying.

btw - I def want the taser. How awesome.