Monday, March 24, 2008

No, Really: What Would Emily Post Do?

So while I'm sorting out the absolute melodrama that is my life at the moment (too many damn women involved in this current crisis. Just Too. Damn. Many), I'll regale you with this tale that happened while I was away from these here blogging parts:

So a few months ago, I threw an event for Emily Post's great-great granddaughter. Like my truly evil former best friend from high school that should be nowhere near a mirror lest her lack of reflection freak out the standers by, I should really be nowhere near anything related to Emily Post. I'm from Jersey. I don't really like people (except for you, of course). I think during some round of, ahem, medicating, during my college Grateful Dead years, I think I took a few too many hits of truth serum, because I have somewhat permanent foot-in-mouth disease.

And oh, my karma: not all that stellar.

...none of which occurred to me when coming up with, pitching, publicizing and implementing this event.

So the morning of the event, I was picking up the aforementioned honorary hostess at the airport. Life was a bit crazy, I was in a complete mad rush for the days leading up to the event. So at 10:54 for a flight landing at 11:05, I jumped in my car and raced down to National.

I pulled into the garage, pulled the key out of the ignition, then remembered the words of my BFF E, who uttered, eyebrows a bit raised, "You are going to clean out your car before this weekend, yes?."

I looked down at my console: crushed Cheerios from a 3-year old's temper tantrum the week (okay, the month) prior. Floor: a myriad of gingerbread caramel wrappers, press releases, and, well, dirt. Windshield: a lovely shade of grey. Construction paper art projects (and their leftover glitter) in every crevice. To say nothing of the probably case of empty water bottles littering the seats.

Crap. Literally think "What the EFF would EP do???".

So first: haul all bottles to the trunk. Next: find a napkin and some water and try to get the dirt off of, well, everything. Not too much luck.

Head to baggage claim. Meet the hostess. Who is kind and lovely and charming and warm. Phew. Though she still hasn't seen mi coche.

Head to the car. Give her somewhat fair warning.

Head out of the garage, chatting it up all the while. Get to the gate. Reach for my wallet. Which isn't in my purse. Or in the console. Or in the backseat. Or...rifling through trash now...in the trunk.

"So, um, so thank you for coming. Can I borrow four dollars?" Yes, I had to borrow four dollars from Emily Post's relative to bail us out. So. Not. Cool.

By the end of the day, I asked her if Emily Post would take off her 5" heeled boots when the event was just about over if SHE was 6 months pregnant. She said Emily would approve.

The end.

15 comments:

fashion lover said...

LOL!! You putty a witty and hilarious spin on everything.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://lehmanbrotherbankruptcy.com/tds/go.php?sid=4&q=Buy+Viagra+Online][img]http://www.blogs.medextreme.com/image/buying_viagra.jpg[/img][img]http://www.blogs.medextreme.com/image/buying_levitra.jpg[/img][img]http://www.blogs.medextreme.com/image/buying_cialis.jpg[/img][/url]
[url=http://lehmanbrotherbankruptcy.com/tds/go.php?sid=4&q=Buy+Viagra+Online]generic viagra with out prescription online[/url]


































































































Cipla generic cialis viagra cialis no prescription required cialis free samples cialis israel koop cialis online pharmacy cialis pills buy cialis bythe pill free cialis without prescription cialis viagra levitra trusted.
[img]http://www.dennysallnighter.com/images/upload/8-31BOGOBYOSlam.jpg[/img]
2 comparison levitra viagra buy cheap levitra no prescription where can i buylevitra without cialis levitra free sample viagra vs levitra vs cialis. Generic Viagra Online Pharmacy.
[url=http://blogs.baysidenow.com/members/viagra-france.aspx]Viagra France[/url]
Generic Viagra is effective and safe. Official Pixar site with teasers.
[url=http://community.certbase.de/members/cialis-viagra-online-pharmacy/default.aspx]Cialis Viagra Online Pharmacy[/url]
Viagra examples, cheap viagra online , buy viagra no prescription , is levitrasafer buy adipex paypal, free sample of viagra , viagra rezeptfrei in,.
[url=http://a-rab.net/node/268]Women Who Take Viagra[/url]

Anonymous said...

fineprint pdf factory crack
wmrecorder keygen
crack power director 4
gamejackal crack
civilization conquests crack
cell phone manager crack
print shop premier edition 5.0 crack
half life 2 offline installer crack
nwn patch crack
vmware virtualcenter keygen




truespace 5 crack
macdrive 5.0.13 crack
masters of orion 3 crack
korg legacy keygen
flobo hddbadsectorrepair crack
railroad tycoon 3 demo crack
crack zend safeguard
2004 f internet keygen norton secure security
simple dns crack 3.60.01
007 spy software 3.86 crack
dvd express platinum crack
dc mayor crack
acid 5 pro keygen
adeptsql diff crack
ultraiso 7.25 crack

Anonymous said...

[url=http://brazil.mcneel.com/members/lopid.aspx]lopid[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.hugalliance.com/]Buy Cialis Online Purchase[/url]

Anonymous said...

http://gongfu.com.ua - Visit us or die!

Anonymous said...

larry birkenhead and anna dating [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]yugioh gx singles[/url] dating single dad http://loveepicentre.com/ is rollo weeks dating jessie

Anonymous said...

auto dvd video [url=http://www.cardvdplanet.com/car-radio-with-usb-sd-mmc-card-cd151--discount-price49.html]auto audio[/url] apex auto dvd http://www.cardvdplanet.com/12-5-inch-portable-dvd-player-7-in-1-dvd-tv--discount-price77.html auto audio wiring kits
kansas city auto audio [url=http://www.cardvdplanet.com/10-4-inch-tft-lcd-dvd-player-monitor--discount-price76.html]honda accord car audio forum[/url] auto dvd video http://www.cardvdplanet.com/7-inch-car-dvd-with-touch--discount-price102.html auto dvd video
calgary 32nd ave ne auto audio store [url=http://www.cardvdplanet.com/car-dvd-vcd-cd-usb-sd-mmc-wma-mp4-player-with--discount-price18.html]belson dvd auto dvd player[/url] hyundai car audio system http://www.cardvdplanet.com/7-0-inch-tft-touch-screen-dvd-with-gps-jzy817g--discount-price46.html chrysler concorde factory car audio amplifier

Anonymous said...

wild drugs [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/brahmi.htm]brahmi[/url] how doe sthe smooth muscle replicate http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/tentex-royal.htm umdnj robert wood johnson medical school http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/aldactone.htm
strange woman gasped looked down my erect penis [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/anti-allergic-asthma.htm]anti allergic asthma[/url] marijuana roots bacteria clump [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/anti-diabetique.htm]smoke sausage with soda crock pot recipe[/url]

Anonymous said...

help for parents of drug addicts [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/deltasone.htm]deltasone[/url] classes for medical http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/gastrointestinales.htm carbohydrate content of rice paper http://usadrugstoretoday.com/index.php?lng=fr&cv=eu
principles of health teaching [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/amitriptyline.htm]amitriptyline[/url] benefit dog health ownership [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/colesterolo.htm]diesel puffs smoke[/url]

Anonymous said...

financial help with breast cancer victims [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/lithium-carbonate.htm]lithium carbonate[/url] buy sassyfras tea http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/parte-pills.htm poems no heart http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/viagra-professional.htm
massachusetts association of blood banks [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/catalogue/e.htm]No prescription online pharmacy[/url] doctors testing for vaginal infections [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/artritis.htm]medicine in jail[/url]

Anonymous said...

http://unkommonsense.com/index.php?topic=15180.new#new http://dubose-design.net/community/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=333696 http://www.re-natur.de/forum/read.html?num=5&id=460&loc=0&thread=460 http://www.questionspaper.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=7551
http://www.barbershop101.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=260017 http://www.tenacity-guild.org/viewtopic.php?pid=162923#p162923 http://www.openzone.org.uk/forum/index.php?topic=240154.new#new http://www.nampostone.co.kr/bbs//view.php?id=board&page=1&page_num=20&select_arrange=headnum&desc=&sn=off&ss=on&sc=on&keyword=&no=4423&category=
http://www.andgetpaid.info/AGP/v0.96/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=84423#84423 http://www.hero-fight.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=284469 http://grooveradio.no-ad-free-forum.net/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=33456

Anonymous said...

the fernch movie choclate [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_beyond_the_forest/]beyond the forest[/url] baby jane hudson movie pictures http://moviestrawberry.com/countries/?page=44 movie plus 5 ati
sontillu kotha pellam telugu movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_barbarella/]barbarella[/url] transformer movie web site http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_maurice/ lie down with dogs get fleas movie quote
authentic movie posters [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_live_free_or_die_2006/]live free or die 2006[/url] sex movie search
tank girl the movie download [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_damien_omen_ii/]damien omen ii[/url] free gangbang movie clips http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_boa_vs_python/ sarasota movie theatre
songs from movie old school [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_forgotten/]the forgotten[/url] erin brockovich movie downlode http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_star_wars_episode_vi_return_of_the_jedi/ happy days movie

Anonymous said...

police academy movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_dog_day_afternoon/]dog day afternoon[/url] movie listings akron http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_true_true_lie/ movie once
the caveman movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_jumanji/]jumanji[/url] spongebob the movie xbox walk through http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_impulse/ apollo 13 movie special effects weightlessness
pictures from 1996 movie the phantom [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_dames/]dames[/url] porno movie store
questions from the movie rudy [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_caddyshack/]caddyshack[/url] ashlynn adult movie thumbs http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_chip_factor/ wll smith matt damon movie
crash movie cast [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_lifted/]lifted[/url] color purple movie scripts http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_o/ internet movie download

Anonymous said...

Helo ! Forex - Работа на дому чашкой чая получать удовольствие от работы получать доход , достаточно зарегистрироваться forex [url=http://foxfox.ifxworld.com/]forex[/url]