I have had no more than 5 hours of sleep a night for about two weeks. I'm about to head to Armpit #2 for TEN DAYS. I have 13 long, excruciating days until freedom. I have more acne on my chin than a full-time fast food fryer manager with bad genes and no access to accutane. Damn, am I ever tired.
So, in lieu of bringing you any witty banter at all, I bring you my friend and favorite stationer in the world, R. Nichols.
He's holding a contest--add a witty line to any of the below, send it to firstname.lastname@example.org, and if yours is chosen, you'll receive a $100 R. Nichols gift certificate (YAY!). You'll also live forever in infamy, as your brilliance will be printed on singles of these cards to be purchased by people who will think, "What clever genius came up with that fabulousness?" forevermore.
Include your name and email; winners will be announced the first week of March.
You always said you were going to be published, didn't you?