Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Burnt. To. A. Crisp.

I have had no more than 5 hours of sleep a night for about two weeks. I'm about to head to Armpit #2 for TEN DAYS. I have 13 long, excruciating days until freedom. I have more acne on my chin than a full-time fast food fryer manager with bad genes and no access to accutane. Damn, am I ever tired.

So, in lieu of bringing you any witty banter at all, I bring you my friend and favorite stationer in the world, R. Nichols.

He's holding a contest--add a witty line to any of the below, send it to, and if yours is chosen, you'll receive a $100 R. Nichols gift certificate (YAY!). You'll also live forever in infamy, as your brilliance will be printed on singles of these cards to be purchased by people who will think, "What clever genius came up with that fabulousness?" forevermore.

Include your name and email; winners will be announced the first week of March.

You always said you were going to be published, didn't you?

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Stubbs Sale!

So if you haven't been to Southampton in a while*, and haven't had the opportunity to head south to wander the amazing Worth strip from East (Beach, Pucci, Neiman's) to West** (Johnnie Brown's***, Everglades), you can still get the look--and for cheap, while they last:

Stubbs 50% off sale starts tomorrow and runs through February 5 (although you can access the sale site right now). The Jollys I pined for this summer aren't on the rack, but lots of other good ones are (these above, currently available in 6,7,8: $105!).

Of note: at the same time you're browsing online, their stores are PACKED with bargain hunters, and their store and online inventories are one in the same. If you see a pair you have to have, you may want to call one of their stores and buy them over the phone to make sure you get them. I've ordered even during non-sale times and have had the last in my size bought right out from under me.

Happy shopping!

* ** Yeah me, either.

***Great baby gift: copy of Mizner Mouse, The Pride of Palm Beach. Signed copies (at least the last time I was there) are available at both Johnnie Brown's (owned by Brooke Shields' dad) and that bookstore that's over by the Church Mouse, the best thrift store EVER.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

"We build cities, and then we take them down."

So Armpit #1, Las Vegas, has turned out to be not so very bad after all.

For starters, I'm at the Bellagio, which to me is about a thousand times better than the smelly Venetian. Good beds, good shopping, good room service: that's all a girl needs in this town.

I'm at one of the world's largest trade events--it's for the construction industry--and it's been amazing to see it come together. My partner in crime is the Wolf from Pulp Fiction--he's running a huge part of the event, knows everyone in town from high rollers to teamsters, knows where all the dead bodies are buried and just fixes problems. Cool as hell.

My friend K moved here about 2 years ago, so I've had my very own tour guide. We have one of those totally non-stressful friendships where we may not talk for a year, but we always pick up where we left off and it's perfect. I miss having her in my life more, but it's been fantastic getting to hang out here, on her newish turf. She recently got engaged to a man who reminds me a lot of my own--an all-around good guy, who just loves her. Smart, funny, and together: he's great, and I'm thrilled.

And you know when you go to Paris and you think, "We should totally get an apartment here."? And then you spend the next few weeks plotting it out, thinking through the finances, and then it just kind of fades away? Well, they actually did it: bought a huge plot in Costa Rica, which is where they'll probably tie the knot.

She took me to Summerlin, the town in which she lives, located about ten miles out and about a thousand feet up. Red Rock looms over the city, and the Red Rock Casino now lies in front of that. It's a beautiful place--unlike the rest of Vegas, which all looks so disposable, this place actually doesn't. (Insider's tip: it, like many other places in town, offer 30% off of spa services during the week for locals). It's a pretty town: quiet and dark with the lights of The Strip shimmering in the distance below.

I also got to squeeze in a lap at the Forum: Scoop (favorite store, and yes, while it is a lot like Intermix, I just always find the perfect thing there. Always.), Marc Jacobs, and Pucci all to the left, Harry Winston, Taryn Rose (I just don't get her shoes--anyone?), and Anne Fontaine to the right.

Someday I will own the whitest, crispest, most fabulous Anne Fontaine shirt ever. And it will be an absolutely glorious four seconds before I splatter a sauce across it made entirely of ketchup, red wine, Oxy antidote and the inside of a Sharpie marker.

Anyway, all is good. Dinner at Fix the other night, Tao tonight, Little Buddha at The Palms tomorrow. Remembered to order a humidifier for my room while checking in the first night--which is the absolutely necessary key to Vegas survival, trust me on that. Now if I can somehow finagle a few hours to get a pedi at the Wynn, life will be pretty great.

Five days down, two to go on this one; nineteen days total left...

Thursday, January 18, 2007

23 Days Until Freedom

While I'm spending the next 23 days working two jobs and traveling for one of them for 18--yes, EIGHTEEN--days to the two biggest armpits in the known universe, here's what those of you not in the most heinous caverns of hell* will be doing:

Tonight: Private Anniversary Dinner for Georgetowner (about time they updated their website!)
Famoso, Chevy Chase

Tomorrow, early
O'Neill Studios Party and Show to benefit Cure Autism Now
Left Bank

Tomorrow, later
Jete Society Dance Party
Embassy of Italy
(and it simply must be said: Those invitations kicked ass.)

Tuesday, January 23, 7:00
Sugar & Champagne
Hotel Palomar (Grays: Love them.)

Wednesday, January 24, 6-8
Saks Happy Hour and Book Signing for The Skinny
Saks Chevy Chase

And lookee lookee who's finally getting into the game...
Thursday, January 25, 6-8
Washingtonian Issue Celebration
Bobby Van's Grill

Saturday, January 28, 11:30
Brunch for my fabulous friend's humongous belly
Private Residence
Featuring me walking off of a redeye and directly toward a mimosa.

Tuesday, February 6, 10:00 a.m.
Tickets go on sale for the DSS!

Wednesday, February 7, 6:30
An Evening of Fun & Fashion
Tiffany, Fairfax Square
Hosted by Diane Ray Brown and Nancy Bagley

And for those of you in Park City:
January 20, 11:30
Distinguished Moviemarkers Brunch
Café Brilliant
Who: Fisher Stevens, Ione Skye, Ed Begley, Jr., Lea Tompson

January 21 (all day)
Knock Knock for the Arts in Park City Gifting Lounge
305 Main Street
Who: Famous people needing free loot.

January 22, 6:00 (cocktails at 6, dinner at 7)
Talisker Club
Creative Coalition State of the Union Dinner
Who: Jake Paltrow—holy crap: Ian Ziering AND Daphne Zuniga!—Steve Sunshine**; John Paul DeJoria (Paul Mitchell); Gene Sperling (?!) and about 20 other randoms, producer/writer types.

*However, I will, while in the two most heinous spots in the U.S. of A., be able to carry with me my favorite memory of our Miami weekend: Post Pucci, 400 A-Listers dancing their tails off under the moonlight beachside to "Let The Sun Shine In." Skinny socialites being spun around by their blueblood husbands; Cuban doyennes getting down in humongous heels--it was just a moment of pure, unadulerated joy.

..which COMPLETELY pales in comparison to my new friend Auburn's poolside memory--completely hilarious. And totally classic.

**So are all Sunshines in Hollywood related? Ken Sunshine reps Leo DiCaprio; Steve is the Senior Producer for Extra; Bob and his brother ran ShoWest for years and years (Bob = completely hilarious. I worked with him for a few years and always meant to ask him, but just always forgot).

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The Liquid Muse Taggeth Me.

Okay, so this has sat in my "Draft" box for the past month or so...

And when TLM calls, I respond.

1) Familial: That is a can of worms that could be a blog onto itself. So we'll go with the fact that I have a half brother in one of the Guays (Uru or Para) that I have not yet met. And a sister that's kind of famous.

2) Hippy-Dippy: Another can of worms. I have a tattoo, as you may well know. And I've seen many, many Grateful Dead shows.

3) Future: Started on Thursday, when I went into business for myself. Holy crap. There's also a book that needs finishing.

4) Educational: 2.0001 GPA. From a state school. In American Studies. See #2.

5) Embarrasing: I have the WORST hookup story of ALL time. Those who have heard it can attest. Those who have not will have to ply me with a lot of liquor on a girls night out first.


Okay, we're like 99.9999% sure, but of course I wanted to be the first to tell you:

District Sample Sale: Wednesday, February 28, 6-9 p.m., to benefit S.O.M.E. Place for Kids. Tickets to go on sale February 6 at 10 a.m.

If the date changes, I'll be sure to let you know, but for now, that's our story and we're sticking to it!!!

Time Warp

Last night, headed to the Ritz-Carlton in Baltimore for an event (it was actually at the American Visionary Art Museum, across from the R-C residences). And it was like walking into a time warp--DC five years ago.

The first reason was because I didn't know a soul save for the people I was with. But besides that, there were good parts (eg., they don't have many events in Baltimore, unlike the 500 a week that happen in DC now, so they still go all out and spend money on things like humongous ice sculptures and red carpets and rope and stanchion and klieg lights--things that, in my opinion, still do make a difference); and bad things (600 people milling about with no idea what to do, all of which started clearing out in droves when the clock struck 9). Because they don't have many print media outlets to cover these things, there were even television crews covering the event, a rarity here unless it's a celebrity-driven charity or the news anchor is affiliated.

But the funniest part was the models that a friend of mine hired for the event. They were all 5'2"--TOPS. I've had some problems hiring good models here--but it was more like their sheets said they were 6'2" and they were 5'8". But 5'2"??? And, not to add any more to my huge karma tab, but then again, I'm not trying to be a model for a living, but they weren't even all that cute (one was, one notsomuch).

Anyway, the food was good, the band decent, the crowd, again, like DC five years ago.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007


Where to even begin...
What: the grand opening of Espa at the five-star Miami resort Acqualina.

Who: 50 boldfacers*, including: chef Rocco DiSpirito (looks so young in person--very charming), cosmetic socialite Olivia Chantecaille (who makes me want to eschew carbs and carb by-products for the rest of my existence), Wolves in Chic Clothing author and top five most awesomest people ever Jill Kargman (whose next fabulous book, Momzilla, will be coming to DC in late spring); Christie's auctioness Lydia Fenet (also veryvery fabulous); T&C's Pamela Fiori (decked in vintage Pucci for the beachside Pucci fashion show the last night); NYC hostess Gillian Miniter; Miami doyenne Norma Quintero; and a host of others.

Goodies: Gifts for all at the fashion show: Fabulously packaged Espa candles.
VIP Gifts: Pucci cosmetic bags with a copy of Emilio Pucci and crocodile Allie Munroe stationery
VVIP Gifts: Alison Antrobus custom handbags
Hostess Gifts: Pucci Beach towels

Inappropriate Moment (because there's always at least one): the chaos that ensued when the announcement was made that the Pucci seat cushions from the fashion show were there for the taking. 400 cleared out in SECONDS. And let's just say that when my addition is finally complete, the girls' luncheon for that is going to be rather Pucci-inspired.

Anyway, it was fabulous. The rooms are appointed spectacularly--Baker and Baker-inspired, lots of browns and silvers; many have Sub-Zero fridges and Wolf ranges. Il Mulino New York also recently opened onsite, and if this and the NY locations are any indication, you'll need to make your reservations for their new DC location NOW for next summer. Packed to the gills, decadent as it gets.

Secret Spot: across the street is a small Spanish bakery and wine store--the owner has a great wine selection and is incredibly knowledgable.

World Traveler Alert: With about 30 spas worldwide, Espa is worth seeking out (this is their first US locale). It was like nothing I've ever experienced.

Close by: Bal Harbour, the best shopping center this side of Short Hills.


Thursday, January 11, 2007

A Singular Blind Mouse

Which DC Doyenne just got the tap on the shoulder from none other than THE talk show goddess herself, and, post making it through the vetting process, may be flying to the Windy City for an appearance in two weeks?

(Yes, I'm jealous, too).

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I'm off... be rescued. In such dire need that I'm heading out a day early!

I'd say "See you next week, I'll be the tan one," but in all actuality I'll be the slightly manila one, best case scenario.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Eeet Eeeez Feenee.

To: Everyone
From: The Vodka, Burger, Furniture and Movie Star Fairy
Date: 1-5-07
RE: Shingle

To my dear friends who have oh-so-very patiently put up with my ridiculously busy schedule for 3+ years, and with my incessant whining all the while:

1.) Thank you.
2.) I've officially thrown in my "professional" towel, and am, after years of talking about it, hanging out my very own shingle. Film at 11.
3.) Holy mother of God. I did it!!!!!!
4.) I'd look more excited about it, but my face is frozen.


Monday, January 01, 2007

WWWWooon Pointeee Eyebrow...

Here are some additional tips for you, if, say, you just Botoxed and your eyebrows are so pointy that you look like the Count (to the extent that your husband deems that for the next three months, he'd like you to wake up every day, announce the number of the day, followed by "Boowhah hahh hahhhh").

1.) Don't pluck your eyebrows for a few weeks beforehand. That way if you start to look like Dr. Spock (or Dr. Brandt or Nicole Kidman), you have some shaping options.
2.) Get some decent toner and use it on your newfound freakishly large humongous forehead every night. Because it will now be smooth as ice, which means that any blemishes will now be spotted miles away.
3.) Keep blotting papers/face powder/La Mer Oil Absorbing Lotion at the ready and use religiously, or else, especially in photos, your forehead will reflect light like a Rachel Zoe tanning blanket.

See you on the Street (the Sesame Street, that is).