Monday, July 17, 2006

Freaky Puppet Leaves Rehab, Finds New Lease on Life as PBS Kids Sprout Host

Not a fashionable post at all, my friends, but it simply must be said.

It's safe to say there's a pretty good chance you're in one of the following camps:

#1) Have no children, not sure if you ever will. Easily judge all parents and their childrearing skills. Think most, if not all, children are rather intolerable.

#2) Have no children but would definitely like to, or you own a very, very small child. Easily judge all parents and their childrearing skills, but are more specific, eg., "When I have a child, I'm going to make sure he/she is bilingual: it's important to do that from birth, you know. And he/she will NEVER eat sugar, will only eat organic food, and, most importantly, will NEVER, EVER watch television."*

#3) Have children--who can recite the entire lineup of Sprout Television and/or Noggin. Easily and still judge all others and their parenting skills.

#4) Have children, live by the creed in #2 above. Note to you: you are absolutely no fun to be around. Just an fyi.

I think we all start out at #1 and work our way down the list, each at our own pace. I'm a precarious resident at #3. I realize that Sprout/Noggin (which, for the uninitiated, are fairly commercial-less television channels programmed for the wee tots--age 2 and under, the first programmed by PBS, the second by Nickelodeon) are evil, as basically they're just holding pens to warm up your kids so that when they outgrow this programing, television will be a firm part of their agenda and they can be marketed to on regular television. Pure, unadulterated evil, I say.

But it buys me a half hour here and there. And my boy digs it. So I'm complicit in this cycle of brainsucking. Call me a horrible parent, but Babsie's La Mer isn't going to warm properly to release the key ingredients of the magic broth all by itself. It takes time, people. 'Bout a round of Max and Ruby and Thomas the Tank Engine, to be exact.

However, I may now have to draw the line. Because this heinous Star creature is freaking me out.

Star is the new "co-host" of the Good Night Show on PBS Sprout (see photo above). And he brings evil to a whole new level.

First of all, people talking to puppets just isn't right (except on Sesame Street, where they somehow pull it off). Like when they bring out a puppet (or worse, an animated character) to present at an awards show alongside an actual person and there's that weird "Where the hell do I look?" look from the person combined with bad teleprompter reading because it's awkward because they're not talking to a person. It's a damn puppet. It's uncomfortable for everyone, except maybe the puppet.

So go on, take a good hard look at him. Maybe they were trying to balance out Melanie (the other host)'s cuteness with a little yin and yang. If so, they nailed it.

First, the fur: he appears to be made out of a cheap plush that indents easily. So he always looks like he has some kind of huge scar running across his face--let's go ahead and attribute that to a gang fight gone awry. Then, they embroidered these little stars across his cheeks, which make him look like he's got some really deep pock marks--souveneirs of the rough years before he found rehab, Jesus, and the wonders of public television. Oh, and he doesn't blink, which makes him look downright menacing, so his innocuous script, eg., "What a fun craft, Melanie!", becomes just frightening.

Next, he's got a voice that's both high AND raspy. A cross between Lindsay and Chucky, with that Snuggle teddy bear thrown in for good measure. Like he had a really girlie voice, but after twenty years at 2 packs a day, he ended up at that particular octave.

The left and right points of his star each end with hands. But they're man-size hands (and the points have bulky "shoulders," so he looks like he's been spending a bit too much time at the gym. With Barry Bonds). So he's a midget little person little star, on 'roids. Twinkle twinkle buddy, I wonder how you got so damn creepy.

Then, the one thing you can't see here, and you may just have to tune in, drop out, and check it out yourself, is at the bottom of the star, in between the bottom left and right points, is what appears to be a pointy part of the hand that's steering this psychokiller monstrosity of a puppet jutting right out there. So, um, how do I say this...he looks like he's very happy to be there. Very happy.

So if you're residing in Camp #1, you may just want to stay there for a while until our friends at PBS can get this sorted out. Because, trust me, you'll need a half hour here and there, too.

*Or you'll be my friend A who actually pulled off rearing perfect, brillant, healthy-eating, non-television watching children--except her kids are tri-lingual: Russian, French and English. There may even be a touch of German or something thrown in. And she's not judgmental toward others at all. Damn my smart nice friends and their good karma.

309 comments:

1 – 200 of 309   Newer›   Newest»
daartney said...

I'd say the puppet at the awards show is uncomfortable. Afterall he has someone's hand up his you know what. . .

Anonymous said...

my kids did not like that puppet. glad it's gone!!

Anonymous said...

Moopygall www.coltsproshop.us Arian Foster Womens Jersey Andrew Luck Youth Jersey Dientwicilt

Anonymous said...

tramadol online tramadol dosage half life - tramadol 50 mg take

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol buy tramadol online no prescription needed - 100mg of tramadol erowid

Anonymous said...

[b][url=http://www.seekingbestbags.co.uk/]louis vuitton purses[/url][/b] Hair surgery treatment varieties generally have overrode all through variations praying these are at the beginning hand-applied.? Types perfectly ahead of techniques for carpet cleansing practically fastens adapters released an excellent attractive.? Everyday individuals appeared want it all over again adhered to doll's redirects, accessible hairstyles protruding making use of their beauty keep inside of clumps.? Straightaway hairloss transplants land up further homegrown capable owing to an procedure approved as compact grafting. Numerous hair surgery methods you'll get contain the very small grafting rather.? Little grafts clasp within just 3 that is about several strands concerning hair.? The aging practice new launch splendor retail outlet grafts often properly contained farther contemplate using a dozen strands of head of hair.? People today inventive minimal african american gown grafts are merely attainable mainly because of the reality maven cosmetic surgeons worth challenging evaluation differ of countless driving 'em. Tiny grafts are handy at duration hair medical procedures surgery by your the can necessary dog's fur a pretty impulsive reply.? The top of hair is granted mainly because of the begin in usually botanical probability, with very similar a handful of beard person who the outside within the way.? Even in the celebration the method is totally committed easily, which can convince important discrepancy.

[b][url=http://www.louisvuittonvipstore.co.uk/]louis vuitton uk[/url][/b] Movie Description: Beverly Hills Police station closes Whitney Houston's demise case. Hey everybody it is Ani Esmailian for Stereotude. Investigator have decided Whitney died from accidental drawing and because no foul participate in was included, they've formally closed the situation.

[b][url=http://www.louisvuittonpursesale.com/]louis vuitton handbags[/url][/b] Are Gray Marketplace goods legal? Ebay Powersellers say indeed and are generally fighting back and lots of are profitable Examine Taberone's Case - Gray Market place Products Tiffany states it's not authorized plus the courts agreed that eBay ought to be taking much better steps to shield trademark proprietors. Tiffany/eBay - MSNBC Report Von Dutch is handling the specific situation somewhat in a different way by submitting a black checklist of businesses on it is really eBay About Me webpage. "If you purchased products and solutions from among these internet websites, YOU Bought COUNTERFEIT Goods." Some companies detailed are coming ahead proclaiming the declaration is just not genuine and invoices will demonstrate it.

[b][url=http://www.louisvuittonpursesale.com/]www.louisvuittonpursesale.com[/url][/b] Bling-bling ranking: /> 24 carat gold plated iphone No telephone has managed to build a excitement or been as hotly anticipated as the Apple iphone. It took a firm with Apple flair to generate a telephone so appealing that men and women would brave the weather and sleep during the avenue just to ensure they bought just one. In case the normal iphone isn bling good enough for you then there are actually corporations who'll sell you one plated with 24-carat gold.

[b][url=http://www.louisvuittonwalletsmarket.com/]louis vuitton wallets[/url][/b] If you don't have already got a blog site article and write-up idea list it can be very easy to develop just one. Simply take a bit of paper and publish down each and every issue you can imagine. This should give you a very good get started. The well known US apparel manufacturer and Couture title is Juicy Couture. It's the bench mark name of creating exceptional items at affordable costs. People today come to feel which the branded put on bags and various accessories are expensive.

Anonymous said...

generic tramadol order tramadol no prescription overnight - order tramadol online cheap

Anonymous said...

lorazepam without prescription ativan dosage .5 mg - withdrawal 2mg ativan

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol order tramadol for dog - what does 100 mg tramadol look like

Anonymous said...

tramadol online what is better tramadol or ultram - buy tramadol dogs usa

Anonymous said...

ativan pharmacy lorazepam 1mg tablets side effects - ativan overdose symptoms

Anonymous said...

ativan online buy ativan online cheap - generic ativan identification

Anonymous said...

tramadol buy buy tramadol direct - tramadol hcl shelf life

Anonymous said...

ativan pills lorazepam 1mg pill - ativan withdrawal time period

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol with mastercard best place buy ultram online - where can i purchase tramadol online

Anonymous said...

buy klonopin online zyprexa klonopin withdrawal - klonopin jaw clenching

Anonymous said...

buy ativan online ativan 457 - ativan 321 m

Anonymous said...

buy generic tramadol generic tramadol an 627 - tramadol 50 mg how often

Anonymous said...

klonopin online 2mg klonopin enough - klonopin xanax or ativan

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cod overnight tramadol hydrochloride high - tramadol dosage 37.5

Anonymous said...

ativan lorazepam ativan given intravenously - can a person overdose on ativan

Anonymous said...

klonopin buy klonopin side effects and withdrawal - buy cheap clonazepam online

Anonymous said...

buy generic tramadol online tramadol and addiction - buy tramadol money order

Anonymous said...

ambien online purchase ambien withdrawal tingling - ambien side effects tongue

Anonymous said...

where to buy tramadol buy cheap tramadol online uk - is it legal to purchase tramadol online

Anonymous said...

generic ambien buy ambien internet - ambien dosage pediatrics

Anonymous said...

tramadol without prescription tramadol help vicodin withdrawal - tramadol 50 mg tablets side effects

Anonymous said...

where to buy tramadol online tramadol recreational use bluelight - buy brand name ultram

Anonymous said...

discount ambien ambien drug guide - ambien side effects paranoia

Anonymous said...

discount soma soma back pills - soma bras online

Anonymous said...

best buy tramadol buy tramadol health solutions - tramadol 50mg vs. lortab 10mg

Anonymous said...

ambien price ambien cr 12.5 mg tab - affects of ambien and alcohol

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol for dogs in usa - tramadol otc

Anonymous said...

soma online soma drug brave new world - soma drug pregnancy

Anonymous said...

tramadol online buy tramadol cod delivery - cheap tramadol with cod

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol hcl 37 - buy tramadol cod fedex

Anonymous said...

zolpidem no prescription ambien withdrawal how to - buy ambien online no prescription

Anonymous said...

can you buy ambien online xanax ambien sleep - drug interaction ambien and vicodin

Anonymous said...

legal buy tramadol online buy tramadol faq - what is ultram tramadol hcl

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol addiction dosage - tramadol 50 mg how long does it stay in your system

Anonymous said...

buy klonopin online klonopin - 2mg klonopin generic

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol soma buy soma online without rx - legal order soma online

Anonymous said...

discount ativan lorazepam ativan vs xanax - rx 773 lorazepam 1mg

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol 50 mg generic ultram - tramadol hcl 100 mg

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online no prescription cod tramadol 50mg not working - tramadol 650 dosage

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50 tramadol overdose narcan - buy tramadol pay cod

Anonymous said...

tramadol online tramadol hcl street price - high von tramadol

Anonymous said...

buy cheap ambien ambien side effects mood swings - generic ambien extended release

Anonymous said...

sildenafil 100mg viagra in canada for sale - buy original viagra online

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol 50mg buy tramadol uk - tramadol addiction

Anonymous said...

viagra online viagra new zealand buy online - generic viagra online+overnight shipping

Anonymous said...

buy clonazepam online 1mg klonopin high dose - klonopin lethal dose

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online mastercard overnight tramadol er high - can you buy tramadol online legally

Anonymous said...

order viagra online india generic viagra cialis canada - cheap viagra adelaide

Anonymous said...

buy viagra online viagra non prescription - buy generic viagra online overnight

Anonymous said...

klonopin 2mg klonopin dosage needed - klonopin and breastfeeding

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cheap can i order tramadol online legally - cheap tramadol fedex overnight

Anonymous said...

ambien on line ambien cr online no prescription - ambien cr and pregnancy

Anonymous said...

klonopin buy klonopin euphoria - klonopin wafers generic

Anonymous said...

ambien without prescriptions ambien side effects with alcohol - ambien sale online cheap

Anonymous said...

viagra online viagra 100mg cost - buy viagra 100mg online uk

Anonymous said...

order carisoprodol soma drug test will show - buy soma from usa

Anonymous said...

tramadol online tramadol hcl recreational use - tramadol 250 mg

Anonymous said...

ambien order online no prescription buy zolpidem no prescription online - ambien side effects the next day

Anonymous said...

buy viagra sample viagra online tesco - viagra 50mg price

Anonymous said...

buy ambien sleep driving with ambien - ambien 10 mg wine

Anonymous said...

viagra online viagra online from canada - viagra dosage older men

Anonymous said...

generic carisoprodol soma bras albuquerque - buy soma pills

Anonymous said...

cheap generic viagra viagra online discount - buy generic viagra united states

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cash on delivery order tramadol online cod - buy ultram mexico

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online without prescription ambien vs ativan insomnia - buy real ambien

Anonymous said...

buy soma legal order soma online - kendrick lamar soma san diego

Anonymous said...

buy viagra 100mg how to buy viagra online in india - cheap viagra pills free shipping

Anonymous said...

buy viagra online cheap viagra - viagra online overnight delivery

Anonymous said...

soma online online drugstore+soma - watch argento soma online

Anonymous said...

cialis online buy cialis retail - cheap brand cialis

Anonymous said...

viagra online buy herbal viagra uk - viagra buy online ireland

Anonymous said...

cialis online cialis from canada - cialis vs viagra buy online

Anonymous said...

cheap generic cialis generic cialis mexico - cialis вики

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol for dogs where to buy tramadol usa - tramadol to buy online

Anonymous said...

buy viagra is buying viagra online illegal - viagra vs cialis vs levitra

Anonymous said...

can you buy tramadol online legally buy tramadol cod free - tramadol 50 mg compared to percocet

Anonymous said...

buy generic cialis cialis online lloyds - cialis reviews user

Anonymous said...

buy viagra online viagra dosage amounts - buy viagra online norway

Anonymous said...

tramadol online tramadol 50mg side effects - the tramadol high

Anonymous said...

online soma soma pills cost - get soma online

Anonymous said...

tramadol 100mg 100mg tramadol withdrawal - tramadol dosage severe pain

Anonymous said...

where to order viagra viagra online without - buy viagra online fast shipping

Anonymous said...

cialis 10mg buy cialis in usa - order cialis online no prescription canada

Anonymous said...

viagra online buy viagra online prescription - can you buy generic viagra

Anonymous said...

can you buy viagra online legally legal order generic viagra online - generic viagra for sale

Anonymous said...

cialis online cheap cialis next day shipping - is it safe to buy cialis from canada

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol 100mg tramadol dosage compared to vicodin - signs of tramadol addiction

Anonymous said...

buy viagra 50mg buy viagra online cheap canada - viagra online scams

Anonymous said...

buy viagra sample viagra buy now - order viagra online cheap

Anonymous said...

order viagra online cheap purchase viagra over counter - viagra online cheapest price

Anonymous said...

how to buy cialis online can u buy cialis over the counter - levitra vs cialis reviews

Anonymous said...

viagra drug generic viagra united kingdom - viagra for women contraindications

Anonymous said...

propecia without prescription cheapest propecia - propecia online usa

Anonymous said...

tramadol online tramadol recreational high - buy tramadol er

Anonymous said...

order tramadol tramadol for dogs contraindications - tramadol addiction studies

Anonymous said...

buy cialis without doctor prescription cialis online with paypal - generic cialis cheapest

Anonymous said...

buy viagra las vegas want buy viagra uk - black king generic viagra

Anonymous said...

sildenafil citrate order viagra online overnight - best place buy viagra online reviews

Anonymous said...

buy cheap propecia propecia side effects ejaculation - propecia side effects weeks

Anonymous said...

buy cialis usa cialis free printable coupon - cialis patent expiration

Anonymous said...

order tramadol overnight tramadol overdose how much - tramadol headache

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol ultram tramadol 50 mg recreational use - tramadol overdose yahoo answers

Anonymous said...

order finasteride propecia generic cheap - reliable propecia online

Anonymous said...

buy discount tramadol tramadol for dogs online - tramadol overnight saturday delivery

Anonymous said...

cheap cialis cialis daily vs. 36 hr - generic cialis quality

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol in florida tramadol 200mg dose - tramadol for dogs how much

Anonymous said...

cheap propecia online propecia finasteride price - propecia generic brand

Anonymous said...

tramadol online pharmacy buy tramadol legit - tramadol hcl premature ejaculation

Anonymous said...

order tramadol online mastercard where can i buy tramadol for dogs - tramadol for dogs high

Anonymous said...

buy generic propecia minoxidil propecia results - finasteride mg

Anonymous said...

cialis online buy cialis united states - small order cialis

Anonymous said...

buy strattera online depression medication strattera - strattera getting started

Anonymous said...

order cialis online canada cialis online ireland - generic cialis potency

Anonymous said...

tramadol online tramadol 50mg tablets narcotic - celebrity tramadol addiction

Anonymous said...

cheap generic propecia propecia 4 months - buy generic propecia online

Anonymous said...

tadalafil 20mg cheap cialis one day - buy cheap cialis link online

Anonymous said...

tramadol online will tramadol 50 mg do you - tramadol 50 mg norge

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol and high blood pressure - tramadol not working

Anonymous said...

retin a online retin a micro pump vs gel - buy retin a online in usa

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol buy ultram without rx - tramadol hcl reviews

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online buy tramadol sr 100 mg - tramadol online in usa

Anonymous said...

buy strattera strattera euphoria - strattera online pharmacy

Anonymous said...

tramadol online tramadol 50mg for my dog - tramadol for dogs how long does it take to work

Anonymous said...

buy strattera online reviews on strattera - strattera 60 mg buy online

Anonymous said...

buy cheap propecia propecia side effects statistics - buy propecia generic finasteride

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online order cheap tramadol cod - tramadol 50mg injection

Anonymous said...

buy propecia online propecia side effects men - generic propecia difference

Anonymous said...

buy retin-a online retin a micro 0.1 gel reviews - retin a cream reviews acne

Anonymous said...

can you buy tramadol online legally tramadol online no script - generic tramadol for dogs

Anonymous said...

buy strattera online strattera becoming generic - strattera side effects fatigue

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50mg order tramadol cheap - can you buy tramadol over the counter in spain

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50 mg tramadol for dogs long term - tramadol for dogs onset of action

Anonymous said...

tramadol online buy cheap tramadol online no prescription - tramadol online overnight mastercard

Anonymous said...

buy retin a without a prescription retin a cream directions - buy retin a online no prescription

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cod fedex ultram vs tramadol - best website buy tramadol

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol buy tramadol dogs uk - where can i purchase tramadol online

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol 50mg slow release - where to buy tramadol forum

Anonymous said...

buy propecia online buy propecia proscar - propecia 8 months

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol online with no prescription - tramadol for pain

Anonymous said...

buy retin a micro retin a micro yellow - retin a micro gel for acne scars

Anonymous said...

tramadol online tramadol 50mg (generic ultram) - buy tramadol online reviews

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol dosage of tramadol 50mg - buy ultram online uk

Anonymous said...

buy retin-a retin a micro for sale - retin a cream usa prices

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50 mg buy tramadol online missouri - tramadol hcl tab 50mg side effects

Anonymous said...

buy strattera strattera side effects first week - strattera high like

Anonymous said...

cheap tramadol generic version tramadol - tramadol 50 mg ultram

Anonymous said...

generic tramadol tramadol addiction long - buy tramadol online cod only

Anonymous said...

buy generic tramadol where to buy tramadol online usa - what is generic name for tramadol

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50mg tramadol for dogs long term use - suboxone for tramadol addiction

Anonymous said...

order propecia generic propecia risks - propecia no prescription

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50mg buy tramadol 50mg - tramadol 250 mg

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50mg tramadol 50mg capsules dosage - buy tramadol online visa

Anonymous said...

order tramadol buy tramadol online eu - stories of tramadol addiction

Anonymous said...

generic viagra cheapest viagra online pharmacy - cheap viagra online with prescription

Anonymous said...

viagra online without prescription generic viagra dosage - how to buy viagra online in us

Anonymous said...

buy viagra buy viagra with no prescription - cheap viagra from us

Anonymous said...

tramadol online no prescription can you buy tramadol in canada - buy tramadol 24x7

Anonymous said...

viagra online without prescription viagra online pharmacy europe - viagra online real fake

Anonymous said...

cialis professional order cialis and viagra - cialis daily insurance coverage

Anonymous said...

viagra no prescription viagra nitrates - reputable viagra online pharmacy

Anonymous said...

tramadol 50 mg tramadol overdose dosage - tramadol overdose in dogs treatment

Anonymous said...

generic viagra generic viagra dapoxetine - buy viagra 100mg us

Anonymous said...

viagra online without prescription cheap viagra us - generic viagra online overnight

Anonymous said...

buy cialis can u buy cialis over the counter - buy cialis and viagra

Anonymous said...

cheap viagra best place purchase viagra - viagra 80 year old

Anonymous said...

cialis online usa cialis tv commercial actors - cialis daily use vs 36 hour

Anonymous said...

generic viagra buy viagra us online no prescription - viagra generic date

Anonymous said...

viagra online without prescription purchase viagra online in us - viagra movie

Anonymous said...

generic cialis buy cialis malaysia - cialis how long

Anonymous said...

viagra price viagra drug interactions - viagra no prescription online

Anonymous said...

generic viagra cheap female viagra online - viagra without prescriptions us

Anonymous said...

buy cialis cheap cialis online - cialis лекарство

Anonymous said...

viagra cost brand viagra online us - where to buy cheap viagra online

Anonymous said...

viagra online cialis or viagra for women - viagra online store

Anonymous said...

order viagra online viagra use - buy viagra in the us online

Anonymous said...

viagra online without prescription generic brand of viagra online - buy online viagra viagra

Anonymous said...

buy sildenafil buy durex viagra condom - buy viagra in thailand

Anonymous said...

generic cialis cheap viagra cialis india - cialis daily insurance coverage

Anonymous said...

buy viagra cheap what is the most effective dosage of viagra - buy real viagra online us

Anonymous said...

generic viagra tosh.0 viagra test - viagra for women 2009

Anonymous said...

viagra cost buy-viagra-online.net - order viagra online nz

Anonymous said...

viagra online without prescription viagra jet - purchase viagra online pharmacy

Anonymous said...

buy cialis online no prescription order brand cialis online - buy cialis miami

Anonymous said...

cialis professional buy cialis online new zealand - user reviews cialis daily use

Anonymous said...

tadalafil tablets buy cialis online with mastercard - cialis online no prescription canadian pharmacy

Anonymous said...

buy cialis how to buy cheap cialis - generic cialis ebay

Anonymous said...

buy soma online soma special order services - soma bras and panties

Anonymous said...

generic cialis cialis daily bph - cialis online pharmacy uk

Anonymous said...

buy tadalafil lowest price cialis 20mg - brand cialis online

Anonymous said...

cialis 20mg buy viagra cialis online canada - cialis price new zealand

Anonymous said...

buy cheap soma dosage for soma muscle relaxant - soma san diego a day to remember

Anonymous said...

buy cialis no prescription canada cialis daily cheap - generic cialis 10mg

Anonymous said...

buy cheap cialis buy cialis online legal - generic cialis cheapest

Anonymous said...

buy cialis cheap cialis in canada - order generic cialis online

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 309   Newer› Newest»